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A new series from your pretty friend at nudosenelpelo :)
This is for all of those fearing their toys will be stolen after the UPS guy leaves a giant package with Hasbro written all over it in their condo lobby jijij wink wink JS*

Last Friday I got to see the secret (and most scandalous) love of my life (besides chocolate... oh and bread... oh and cheese. Ok so the forth secret love of my life) in concert.
Call me crazy, call me pop, but I loved it. I went to see Matchbox 20 in concert. [Glass shattering]!!!
So, Rob Thomas' jeans are tight. But not like emo-kid-or-Jared-Leto's-jeans tight, I meant he was wearing a normal pair of jeans with the magnificent difference that his were tight. Like a tiger. Rrrawr. Hahaha
Angela and I spent the whole day in the suburbs to avoid Illinois traffic since the concert was at 9pm so there we are at a Starbucks for 7 hours trying to finish a whole box of chocolates to use it to hide my camera so we could take it into the concert. We succeeded, by the way. In 1 hour.
As an eccentric treat, I also fulfilled a bizarre teenage dream, like 10 years later but still: I saw Alanis Morrisette! (She opened the concert. When did she stop being famous? Oh wait). Anyway, what mostly surprised me about her (besides ???) was how big her thighs are! Seriously, boy were her thighs eye-catching. I couldn't stop staring at them. Am I a lesbian now? Is that how it starts? Will it get worse (or serious) if I go see Melissa Etheridge? Spooky.
Either way we had fun. No after-concert party stories, sorry. We were dressed for the occasion but still, nothing.
And by the occasion I mean the occasion when Rob was going to ask us to join him after for "the band's party".
Aaand you know what party I'm talking about. That where musicians go crazy, ordinary (yet awesome) girls are invited, drugs are introduced and the lead singer confesses to the ordinary girl that he doesn't do that because he is REALLY doing it for the music. (Awww).
The girl (of course) falls for it, gets knocked up and elopes with the rockstar. They then live happily ever after surviving with money from VH1's Band Reunited.
THAT party.
Anyway, the wonderment of the night, amazingly enough, wasn't Mr. Rob Tight-Jeans Thomas, but Angela's comment while listening to "Jagged Little Pill". She was singing so I asked if she knew the song and then without any warning, she came out with the most stupendous thing ever: "Yes, but I thought that was Pink!" Hahahahha
The ugly post-concert outcome: I caught a cold from the yelling and the running in the snow at midnight; and I can't forgive myself from being such a vah-jay-jay and not going backstage-pass hunting. But please understand, I had to go home to the Boyfriendness, he's the one who feeds me chocolate and bread and cheese :)
Would you look at this.

I already love Starck; everything he designs is so glossy and smooth and silvery.
This time he came up with such beautiness.
Now, I'm not a motorcycle fan. I was born with such "accident-proneitis" that jumping on a bike would push my disgrace odds to 100%, so I mostly posted this because of how hot it looks... And mostly-mostly because of the sexiness of its name: the Voxan Café Racer Super Naked by Philippe Starck. I swear.
Vrrooom
Weather, today, in the beautiful city of Chicago... feels like -28ºC!!

My mother, the saint.

Here's the skinny. (I hate it when people refer to information as "the skinny")
- 12 Cans of the inexistent-in-the-US Coca Cola Light
- 1 Whole pack of mini Tajin bottles. So people can keep giving me weird looks when I eat in public places
- Hojarascas (the Mexican "sugar cookies") and gorditas made by my grandma. Total count: 30 hojarascas & 30 gorditas. Total count 3 days later: zero hojarascas & zero gorditas
- 1 Health insurance information sheet "inconspicuously" sent by my dad
- 4 "Soda de Manzana" bottles
- 1 Pack of va-jay-jay ladies medicine hahaha
- The actual bag of gorditas
- 2 home-made scarfs + 1 Hello Kitty candy box
- 1 Gift bag with a card that said "To Gaby" ...aka my other sister, thanks
Awww I miss my other home.
So last night I volunteered at the Alliance Française because turns out if you give the French some of your time, they'll instruct (and feed) you for free.
"Alors", yesterday there was a French cooking class-movie screening event so I stayed after class and this is what happened:
5:30pm
I showed up at the organizer's office, Xavier (za-VYAY for the "French impaired") where he points me to my first assignment: Cutting bread. WITH KNIVES. Gulp.
I said Ok ("Volontiers, Xavier") while a crazy twitchy feeling started developing in my left eye.
Hey, I'm no quitter, quitting cutting things is for girls! So I swallowed all my screaming instincts and began cutting the damned bread while unsuccessfully trying to remember all the ways I knew to ask for help in French. Stressing moments.
5:45pm
I finished the life-threatening bread-cutting task and moved to the main room to welcome the peeps and help out with drinks. French heaven. My specialty: champagne, merci beaucoup.
6:15pm
While movie times...
Jocelyn- Est-ce que je peux faire quelque chose pendant les "peeps" regardent le film? (Can I do something while the peeps watch the movie?)
Xavier- Oui, allons à la cuisine. Vous pouvez m'aider là-bas. ("Oui", let's go to the kitchen. You can help me there")
Jocelyn- [Gulp again. Tu plaisantes?! (Are you kidding?!)] Ok
Xavier- Alors... ici vouz avez du fromage, du pain et des fruits qu'on va occuper... (So... here you have some cheese, bread and fruit that we're going to need...)
Jocelyn- [Double gulp] ...
Xavier- ...Et ici vous avez le tiroir des couteaux (...And in here you have the knifes drawer)Jocelyn- [Gulp Gulp Gulp]
6:45pm-10:00pm
I helped to cook, learned a couple new tricks (tricks not to get burned, of course; not cooking tricks) and successfully made my first cheese soufflé.
10:30pm
All done and done! Nutella was eaten, soufflé was devoured, wine was solemnly absorbed, mini-muffins were packed into our backpacks, and I got ready to catch the EL.
I went out after saying Au revoir to my super cool new friend Nicole; my ipod's earphones froze because it was -23ºC outside and I couldn't feel my nose for 45 mins, but I had fun.
Oh, I also signed up to do it again next Thursday. J'adore.
PS. I forgot! So... the last thing I did before leaving?? Washed all the knives jijijiji :)
Day 2 on my first ever all-American internship. Still excited.
So today while using a PC at "work" I somehow ended up in Microsoft Visual Earth and I found this ama-za-zing shot of The Sweetness probably from about 3 years ago.

That's the building where I live, that's an ex-garbage dump where the parking lot is now... and there is Andy's Tires next to us, stronger now than ever!
Ok I have to go, Monday carpal tunnel is kicking in and I haven't even studied French today. Bonne nuit.
PS. Bancomer SUCKS.
Gracias al Yorch por continuar la lista.
Ahora si tan solo pudiera convencerme que hacer pipí en la regadera es mal visto. Ya somos dos!! jojojoj
PLACERES SIMPLES
Hay de placeres a placeres, y los que se disfrutan mas son los placeres simples de la vida, mencionando algunos he aqui una lista que quiza muchos disfrutamos, otros no tanto y unos que pues cada quien obtiene placer con lo que quiere...
1. La mas clasica de todas, LA MANO EN EL ARROZ, por favor no me digan que no disfrutan accion.
2. El olor a la grusura de la carne quemadita.
3. Bañarse despues de un campamento.
4. El caldito de la maruchan calientito con limon y chilito piquin o valentina.
5. Ver como se "fabrica" un algodon de azucar.
6. Comer un algodon de azucar.
7. Admirar como el aceite con el agua no se mezclan.
8. El olor a tierra mojada.
9. El olor a pasto recien cortado.
10. Sacar la mano por la ventana del auto y jugar con el viento.
11. La pulpa de el jugo de naranja.
12. Este no me gusta pero se me dijo: Mojar una tutsi en un vaso de agua mientars se "chupa".
13. El queso de la pizza.
14. Tocar el cabello masculino recien cortado por la parte de atras (Aclaro solo toco el mio y el de mis hijos, pero mi mujer dice eso)
15. Las fresas del pastel.
16. Encontrar el estacionamiento que tu quieres donde sea.
17. Encontrar dinero en la bolsa de tu pantalon.
18. Orinar despues de una larga angustia de retencion.
19. Miar en la regadera jajajaja, que naco.
20. Descansar en una hamaca.
21. Ver reir a un bebe.
22. Soplarle a un Diente de Leon y ver las semillas planear.
23. El primer bocado de tu comida favorita.
24. El primer dia que te pones unos converse nuevos. (No quieres que se te ensucien, al segundo los quieres todos sucios y viejos).
25. Exprimirte un barro feo jejeje.
26. Resistol en la palma de la mano y hacer copia de tu huella.
Por esto y porque el GOV nomás no me quiere, yo mejor ya me quiero ir.
favorite smells:
coconut, chocolate, banana smoothies, coffee, cologne
favorite sounds:
real laughter, a live concert, people with accents, guitars
favorite things to touch:
silk, skin, warm laundry, flour
favorite sights:
the color pink, jason's face, big cities at night, colorful cupcakes, kittens
favorite tastes:
chocolate, pasta, frosting, coca cola vanilla
Jocelyn, running with scissors since 1982
hehhe
This is the season of making lists, but if you know me, you know that such season lasts the whole year... so to honor my ridiculous and compulsive need to make lists may I present...
The Jossbot list of awesome events and happenings 2007
1. I turned 25 (which is 30, which is 50, which is blahh)
2. I accomplished my goal of moving out of my parent's house by the time I turned 25
3. Not only did I move out of my parent's house, I moved to another country.
4. I sold my (first) car
5. I finally learned French
6. I learned how to bake (and managed to burn a potato and a microwave at the same time)
7. I saw snow
8. I moved in with a boy jojojoj
9. I cut myself (badly) on a finger (cof cof- again) and I didn't go to a hospital
10. I fought the United States Citizen and Immigration Services
11. I learned how to cut my own hair
12. I celebrated all the Jewish and Mexican holidays
13. I bought and returned almost USD$2,000 in clothes just for fun
Also, and since my psychic is way too far to pay her a visit, I decided that this year I'll be my own oracle. I hereby present...
The Jossbot list of wishes and premonitions 2008
1. I'll get that *&^%$$ business visa
2. I'll get Bright Bright Great up and running
3. I'll cook a whole meal without burning anything
4. I'll have a pet
5. I'll rule in French and master English. But mostly French, because that's the sexiest
6. I'll go to Mexico
7. I'll hike in Mexico
8. I'll be safe hiking in Mexico
9. Also, I'll have one of those deers from Dundee Rd
Making Freud proud at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com
Qué pasó con Monterrey after-Forum? Y los que trabajaban en él? Y pior: los que rateaban dinero de ahí, ahora de dónde lo sacan?
Están todos de vacaciones en el planeta "Denial" ...o es como si nunca hubiera pasado?
Tiru-riru
Tiru-riru
La Dimensión Desconocida at: jossbot@hotmail.com
1. Que haya gueyes que te pongan la gasolina en las gasolineras (o gasolinerías, por qué no?)
2. Que esos mismos gueyes luego te hagan el feo por los $3 pesos de según-tú propina que les das
3. Los chocokrispis
4. El Sony Entertainment Television ajúa!
5. El Santa Claus que mi mamá pone todo Diciembre y Enero en el baño "de visitas"
6. 5 tacos + "coca de dieta" por $20 pesos
7. Que existan los piquetes de zancudos
8. Usar la palabra "zancudos"
9. El caldo de verduras de mi mamá para cuando tengo dolor de panza
10. El anuncio media-nochero de "tu marido trabaja con una mujer güera?..."
Ahhh méjico mágico. Aunque ahorita bien que no cambio mi nieve cochina citadina desparramada por todas partes y ensuciando mis jeans mientras voy caminito a la escuela :)
PD. Sí me cambié el pelo a "brunette". Y les debo las fotos porque aún me da miedo verme al espejo. Buenas noches (Bimbo) tengan todos ustedes.
The first thing that comes out on Google after typing "Mexique" hahahaha
PENI-CACTUS
Peni-cactuses And Other Rare Species at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com
My favorite holiday is here! Well, this was supposed to be written on the 6th but you know these things... anyway, let's pretend it's Sunday and that Hillary hasn't cried on TV yet :)
January 6th is the "King's Cake" or "Magic King's Round Cake" or "The Mystical Colorful and Rainbow Brite Jesus Cake" Day (formerly known as Rosca de Reyes au Mexique) and what makes it so special is the fact that Tiny Baby Jesus (playing with his tiny Baby Einstein) never picks to be in my part of the cake ...until now!
The tradition goes like this: you buy one of these once-in-a-year cakes, you go home and make hot chocolate, you spend the whole day calling the family and wondering whether someone will be nice enough not to tell you to eff-yourself-I'm-not-going-anywhere on this amazing day... until some Baby Jesus miracle happens and everyone gets finally together to cut the cake... the trick is, just like SINS, tiny baby Jesus-es are hidden all over the cake and you have to stay away from them (although technically to get them is synonym of good luck but it's more amusing the other way). Plus, the reason we stay away from them is because whoever gets them, has to throw a party for everyone on Feb 2nd (another Holiday, this one about "tamales" woohoo!).
Anyway, that's the story... what happened this time was awesome: So I've been cutting the cake for like 20 years and I had never gotten the damn baby and even though I was saved from buying tamales for everyone, I always felt a little bad because I mean, if Jesus is not picking my part of the cake it means I must've done something evil, right? Well, this year I must've been really good (or maybe they were just looking somewhere else) because I got both of the babies from the cake!! Wooo I'm waiting for a great double-blessed year.
Here are some pictures, I'll spare the details so you can just enjoy the amazingness of the moment. If you have time (and no decency), check out the weird "baby bottom" on the little kid... Biblical porn!! jijiji




PS. The knife in the last picture has a scary reflection of The Boyfriend. I wonder if that's a premonition of some kind...
Intuitions And Girls Killed By Boyfriends With Knifes at: jossbot [at] gmail [dot] com
This week the real question comes down to: Do redheads have more fun?
We shall find out since I'm doing my hair again but I'm going brunette this time. Oh god.
I opened my little heart and told Jason The Boyfriend that all I really wanted was not to look average hahha ohh girls!
Wait for the pictures.
Blonds suck at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com
... or Chicles En El Pelo™
ONE
So, the stupid government decided to finally put down the eggnog and communicate with us: "Need Further Information" it said. Ohhhh, merde!
I don't even know what my true feelings are on this one yet. I'm trying really hard not to fall into temptation and lose it, so the provisional thought will be "More to come".
TWO
The bright bright great State of Illinois went smoke-free on Jan 1st.
Now instead of breathing smoke in indoor places, we'll breathe smoke while walking on Michigan Avenue... Ok wait, I'm being a party-pooper on this one, this is actually ama-za-zing.
THREE
On Wednesday I happened to look at my crazy Frankenstein finger (since most of the time I try to avoid it because it reminds me of the good outdoor times) and I discovered this huge bruise-bump-like thing. (Aw my baby, I shall now know you by the almost-dirty name of "The Finger Thing")
It looks like like my quite-dead nerves had a crazy party and didn't know what to do with the garbage at the end. Seriously. And the best part is that it's Saturday and it's still there! Plus, my dad just e-mailed saying his health insurance JUST discovered I'm not 22 anymore so they kicked me out of the family plan. Poops.
There's nothing like being an illegal alien with no job, no means to get a legal job, no health insurance, a living bump on its operated finger, and an unstoppable necessity to whine about everything that goes wrong :)
So, hows the new year treating you all?
Scary stories at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com
Things I can't live without to actually work:
1. The Mac
2. Food
3. My books
4. My books
5. My books
6. My books
7. The outside world (preferably sunny)
8. The good old Internet
9. The hours between 7pm and 4am
10. The party times. Sorry. The good, late, excessive, loud, expensive, dancey, fancy party times.
I'm a new breed of human.
I was reading a MoCo Loco survey where they asked designers: What modern day conveniences can you not live without?
I'm pretty sure rocketeer science would not be needed to know what the number one answer was, but there were also some surprises. Here's the list:
1. Mac
2. Shower
3. Reuters.com
4. Internet
5. iPod
6. Blackberry
7. Traveling
8. Glasses/sunglasses
Funny.
We love our Macs. Jason loves his shower. I love my shower. Showers are good... also, it's good to know that a shower is more important than the Internet.
iPods shouldn't even be here since they are almost like an implant/vital organ on every designer (and human) in the world.
Traveling is ALWAYS important (cof cof Méjico!).
And in the famous words of Mr. Boronas: "You have to wear sunglasses, and you have to love them. You have to wear them inside, outside, everywhere. All the time, no matter what".
Very wise.
Dear imbalanced feeling of talent,
It seems like only yesterday we wrestled but soon we'll put away our kinky business. We'll go on with our lives once we have parted and returned mutual presents, but how can we say farewell to our fuzzy memories?
Wow! I can't believe it's finally time to let go. I'll miss the fun times we had together writing and stuffing animals. I'll never forget the time you assaulted that duck until you and I ended up deported. Ah, the good times!
What I'll miss the most is the way you worked. It always brought out the slutty nun in me. You've changed my life; you've made it bling-bling. Leaving you makes me feel quite delirious but it's something Oprah would be proud of and I must commit to it.
Farewell, dear friend,
Jocelyn el Palito de Pan*
PS. After saying goodbye to her talent, Jocelyn started a career as a cleaning-lady lady.
She just got fired.
So, the year is ending and with it all our impossible resolutions we made in moments like this, 365 days or so ago... did you make any weird promises to yourself? I feel I've grown enough to be OK with not making any. Resolutions are for girls.
Instead, I think we should change the whole thing into the "Say Goodbye To" movement: goodbye 2007 hair-dressers, goodbye 2007 Mexican heat, goodbye 2007 car... but really mean it.
At least this way the only thing we'll have to carry for the next year will be our (please insert religion) guilt.
Here's a little help for all of those who struggle with things like feelings!
Just fill in the blanks, give it to your new object of abandonment and have a fresh 2008.
(I'll even post mine in a little bit too).
Dear _______ (noun),
It seems like only yesterday we _______ (verb ending in -ed), but soon we'll put away our _______ (perverted adjective) business. We'll go on with our lives once we have parted and returned mutual presents, but how can we say farewell to our _______ (plural noun)?.
Wow! I can't believe it's finally time to let go. I'll miss the fun times we had together _______ (verb ending in -ing) and _______ (obscure verb ending in -ing). I'll never forget the time you _______ (verb ending in -ed) that _______ (noun) until you and I ended up _______ (verb ending in -ed). Ah, the good times!
What I'll miss the most is the way you _______ (verb ending in -ed). It always brought out the _______ (adjective) _______ (noun) in me. You've changed my life; you've made it _______ (adjective). Leaving you makes me feel _______ (adverb) _______ (adjective) but it's something Oprah would be proud of and I must commit to it.
Farewell, dear friend,
_______ (your name)
Feeling better? Good, now go plan your New Years Eve party before all the hard liquor disappears!
So just when I thought snow would give me a new reason to complain in this great land of opportunities, I was once again proved wrong.
Yesterday we hit the 0ºC for the first time after a few stormy days and I found myself walking downtown and thinking "Is it hot in here?" I'm such a Chicagoan now.
The good thing is that when I go home, I will definitely have a reason to complain about the Monterrey 10ºC/50ºF winter hehe
Good:
Today I cut my own hair.
Better:
Today I cut my own hair and saved $70 from the evil Chicago hair-people.
Best:
Today I cut my own hair, saved $70 from the evil Chicago hair-people and managed to stay here since Jason liked it. Phew.
Today I ran into Guillermo, a friend from college. In Chicago.
So I was hanging out at a (wait, don't judge just yet) Starbucks on Michigan Avenue... I was there only for the free internet, big windows and Christmas environment... but anyway, I was there minding my very own French business when I looked up and there he was, holding a million bags from Crate & Barrel, The Apple Store and Louis Vuitton. He made a weird face, which I bet was the same one I was making and came over to say hi... followed by his girlfriend from college, Sonia, whom I also knew.
Now, we weren't über best friends back in the good old days; it was more of a hi-on-the-hallways-bye-at-the-end-of-class kind of friendship but still, we are in Chicago, people. We are thousands of miles and many Fahrenheit degrees far away from each other... what are the odds?!
Now I've officially ran into three people from Mexico while in here. I wonder why when I was home (a considerably smaller city than this one) I never ran into my dad when I skipped school and used to go for tacos at 11am just a few blocks from his work. Oh, the absurdity.
Also, they said I looked american...
Wait, what?
Sorry, I've been away due to extreme snowness, coldness and funness. I'm back though, so forget me not.
This is what's new:
The Thanksgiving memoirs
The free fashion party at the Crimson Lounge with Diana
The first snow storm
The Corvax Christmas party (where lucky Jason won and iPod)The "How to survive a horror movie" bookGO TO FLICKR TO GOSSIP ABOUT IT!!



About me, well, you'd be happy to know that I'm back to kickboxing (with a little help of Billy Blanks and Comcast, but it counts).
I also gave up cooking for a bit after I burned a potato in the microwave the other day and the loft smelled weird for a week... and after burning some cookies I made for Channukah Night 1. Jason was kind enough to eat them all and say they were good. Awww.
In the creative area, Jason and I finally finished our new Design Agency brand! Name, texts and concept done. Now we're waiting for its sister, Burrobala, to brand it and we're on. New stuff about this coming soon.
This week has been snowing for real. I love snow. It's so cold and not wet and not heavy and so fluffy, it's like a cloud. This weekend Jason and I went holiday/winter shopping and I bought myself a hat. For my head. I know! I also bought boots. Weirdddddd.
And finally, for the last two weeks I've almost eaten a whole box of the famous Yehuda Matzos by myself hahahah I'm proud.
Oh, and Happy Channukah! Now go lit a menorah and spread some love :)
Last thought: Man, am I in the mood for tacos "El Güero" from Centrito Valle.
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing :)


the blackberry party at the w hotel.
so yesterday morning i tripped on the street and i got all bruised up, but at night i got free drinks and fancy food on floor 31 at the w, angela and i partied with her richie friends, we had free rides on michigan avenue, i almost won a blackberry, i stole a green apple, we convinced a bouncer at a bar that i was a model so he'd let us in without paying (and it worked, thank you very much), then jack daniels and i made up and finally i took the L home where a creepy kid offered me pot. this morning i had such a hangover that i would've taken the tripping on the street again. ahhh party times.
Disculpen la ausencia, ahora si que he estado ocupada. Entre escribir textos, traducir entrevistas, tomar fotos, idear una casa y aprender francés se me han ido los dias. Tengo tantas ganas de hacer algo fuera de lo normal, que estoy tentada a escribir con Webdings!! What the fuck?! jeje
En otras noticias, esta semana empezó el horario de invierno (o el que sea) y para las 4:30pm ya está oscuro... y ayer estuvimos a -1ºC. Fuck me winter.
Y en las noticias estúpidas: antier casi pongo a hervir elotes echados a perder, ayer casi meto un vaso de aluminio al microondas, y hoy acabo de derretir una espátula en la estufa.... y ya me voy que creo que el horno ya está caliente :)

