Chicago 2016

So, unlike the Regiomontanos back in Monterrey, Chicagoans got it together and are actually pursuing the Olympic dream. How will they (or should I say "we") do it? Who knows! Bring the money, crash the EL, destroy downtown and make traffic worse.
Cities do get a lot of pretty attention because of this, but the evil side is way way worse and permanent damage to society should be considered... although who am I to say anything, I spend my money downtown, take the EL without washing my hands first, feed the pigeons and drive when I shouldn't be. I also steal Splenda from Starbucks.






Visit www.chicago2016.org and vote... or not. At least the graphics are pretty and there's French jijijiji

La Météo

Por esto y porque el GOV nomás no me quiere, yo mejor ya me quiero ir.

favorite things

favorite smells:
coconut, chocolate, banana smoothies, coffee, cologne

favorite sounds:
real laughter, a live concert, people with accents, guitars

favorite things to touch:
silk, skin, warm laundry, flour

favorite sights:
the color pink, jason's face, big cities at night, colorful cupcakes, kittens

favorite tastes:
chocolate, pasta, frosting, coca cola vanilla

This week opening an oatmeal box

Jocelyn, running with scissors since 1982
hehhe

Making Lists

This is the season of making lists, but if you know me, you know that such season lasts the whole year... so to honor my ridiculous and compulsive need to make lists may I present...

The Jossbot list of awesome events and happenings 2007 
1. I turned 25 (which is 30, which is 50, which is blahh)
2. I accomplished my goal of moving out of my parent's house by the time I turned 25
3. Not only did I move out of my parent's house, I moved to another country.
4. I sold my (first) car
5. I finally learned French
6. I learned how to bake (and managed to burn a potato and a microwave at the same time)
7. I saw snow
8. I moved in with a boy jojojoj
9. I cut myself (badly) on a finger (cof cof- again) and I didn't go to a hospital
10. I fought the United States Citizen and Immigration Services
11. I learned how to cut my own hair
12. I celebrated all the Jewish and Mexican holidays
13. I bought and returned almost USD$2,000 in clothes just for fun


Also, and since my psychic is way too far to pay her a visit, I decided that this year I'll be my own oracle. I hereby present...

The Jossbot list of wishes and premonitions 2008 
1. I'll get that *&^%$$ business visa
2. I'll get Bright Bright Great up and running
3. I'll cook a whole meal without burning anything
4. I'll have a pet
5. I'll rule in French and master English. But mostly French, because that's the sexiest
6. I'll go to Mexico
7. I'll hike in Mexico
8. I'll be safe hiking in Mexico
9. Also, I'll have one of those deers from Dundee Rd

Making Freud proud at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com

El Forum

Qué pasó con Monterrey after-Forum? Y los que trabajaban en él? Y pior: los que rateaban dinero de ahí, ahora de dónde lo sacan?
Están todos de vacaciones en el planeta "Denial" ...o es como si nunca hubiera pasado?
Tiru-riru
Tiru-riru

La Dimensión Desconocida at: jossbot@hotmail.com

10 cosas que extraño de méjico hoy

1. Que haya gueyes que te pongan la gasolina en las gasolineras (o gasolinerías, por qué no?)
2. Que esos mismos gueyes luego te hagan el feo por los $3 pesos de según-tú propina que les das
3. Los chocokrispis
4. El Sony Entertainment Television ajúa!
5. El Santa Claus que mi mamá pone todo Diciembre y Enero en el baño "de visitas"
6. 5 tacos + "coca de dieta" por $20 pesos
7. Que existan los piquetes de zancudos
8. Usar la palabra "zancudos"
9. El caldo de verduras de mi mamá para cuando tengo dolor de panza
10. El anuncio media-nochero de "tu marido trabaja con una mujer güera?..."

Ahhh méjico mágico. Aunque ahorita bien que no cambio mi nieve cochina citadina desparramada por todas partes y ensuciando mis jeans mientras voy caminito a la escuela :)

PD. Sí me cambié el pelo a "brunette". Y les debo las fotos porque aún me da miedo verme al espejo. Buenas noches (Bimbo) tengan todos ustedes.

Google-ing Mexique

The first thing that comes out on Google after typing "Mexique" hahahaha

PENI-CACTUS

Peni-cactuses And Other Rare Species at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com

Niños En La Rosca™

My favorite holiday is here! Well, this was supposed to be written on the 6th but you know these things... anyway, let's pretend it's Sunday and that Hillary hasn't cried on TV yet :)

January 6th is the "King's Cake" or "Magic King's Round Cake" or "The Mystical Colorful and Rainbow Brite Jesus Cake" Day (formerly known as Rosca de Reyes au Mexique) and what makes it so special is the fact that Tiny Baby Jesus (playing with his tiny Baby Einstein) never picks to be in my part of the cake ...until now!

The tradition goes like this: you buy one of these once-in-a-year cakes, you go home and make hot chocolate, you spend the whole day calling the family and wondering whether someone will be nice enough not to tell you to eff-yourself-I'm-not-going-anywhere on this amazing day... until some Baby Jesus miracle happens and everyone gets finally together to cut the cake... the trick is, just like SINS, tiny baby Jesus-es are hidden all over the cake and you have to stay away from them (although technically to get them is synonym of good luck but it's more amusing the other way). Plus, the reason we stay away from them is because whoever gets them, has to throw a party for everyone on Feb 2nd (another Holiday, this one about "tamales" woohoo!).

Anyway, that's the story... what happened this time was awesome: So I've been cutting the cake for like 20 years and I had never gotten the damn baby and even though I was saved from buying tamales for everyone, I always felt a little bad because I mean, if Jesus is not picking my part of the cake it means I must've done something evil, right? Well, this year I must've been really good (or maybe they were just looking somewhere else) because I got both of the babies from the cake!! Wooo I'm waiting for a great double-blessed year.

Here are some pictures, I'll spare the details so you can just enjoy the amazingness of the moment. If you have time (and no decency), check out the weird "baby bottom" on the little kid... Biblical porn!! jijiji










PS. The knife in the last picture has a scary reflection of The Boyfriend. I wonder if that's a premonition of some kind...

Intuitions And Girls Killed By Boyfriends With Knifes at: jossbot [at] gmail [dot] com

Brunettes

This week the real question comes down to: Do redheads have more fun?
We shall find out since I'm doing my hair again but I'm going brunette this time. Oh god.

I opened my little heart and told Jason The Boyfriend that all I really wanted was not to look average hahha ohh girls!
Wait for the pictures.

Blonds suck at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com

The Department Of News

... or Chicles En El Pelo™

ONE
So, the stupid government decided to finally put down the eggnog and communicate with us: "Need Further Information" it said. Ohhhh, merde!
I don't even know what my true feelings are on this one yet. I'm trying really hard not to fall into temptation and lose it, so the provisional thought will be "More to come".

TWO
The bright bright great State of Illinois went smoke-free on Jan 1st.
Now instead of breathing smoke in indoor places, we'll breathe smoke while walking on Michigan Avenue... Ok wait, I'm being a party-pooper on this one, this is actually ama-za-zing.

THREE
On Wednesday I happened to look at my crazy Frankenstein finger (since most of the time I try to avoid it because it reminds me of the good outdoor times) and I discovered this huge bruise-bump-like thing. (Aw my baby, I shall now know you by the almost-dirty name of "The Finger Thing")
It looks like like my quite-dead nerves had a crazy party and didn't know what to do with the garbage at the end. Seriously. And the best part is that it's Saturday and it's still there! Plus, my dad just e-mailed saying his health insurance JUST discovered I'm not 22 anymore so they kicked me out of the family plan. Poops.
There's nothing like being an illegal alien with no job, no means to get a legal job, no health insurance, a living bump on its operated finger, and an unstoppable necessity to whine about everything that goes wrong :)

So, hows the new year treating you all?
Scary stories at: jossbot [at] hotmail [dot] com

My list

Things I can't live without to actually work:

1. The Mac
2. Food
3. My books
4. My books
5. My books
6. My books
7. The outside world (preferably sunny)
8. The good old Internet
9. The hours between 7pm and 4am
10. The party times. Sorry. The good, late, excessive, loud, expensive, dancey, fancy party times.

I'm a new breed of human.

Designers

I was reading a MoCo Loco survey where they asked designers: What modern day conveniences can you not live without?
I'm pretty sure rocketeer science would not be needed to know what the number one answer was, but there were also some surprises. Here's the list:

1. Mac
2. Shower
3. Reuters.com
4. Internet
5. iPod
6. Blackberry
7. Traveling
8. Glasses/sunglasses

Funny.
We love our Macs. Jason loves his shower. I love my shower. Showers are good... also, it's good to know that a shower is more important than the Internet.
iPods shouldn't even be here since they are almost like an implant/vital organ on every designer (and human) in the world.
Traveling is ALWAYS important (cof cof Méjico!).
And in the famous words of Mr. Boronas: "You have to wear sunglasses, and you have to love them. You have to wear them inside, outside, everywhere. All the time, no matter what".
Very wise.

My Goodbyes

Dear imbalanced feeling of talent,
It seems like only yesterday we wrestled but soon we'll put away our kinky business. We'll go on with our lives once we have parted and returned mutual presents, but how can we say farewell to our fuzzy memories?

Wow! I can't believe it's finally time to let go. I'll miss the fun times we had together writing and stuffing animals. I'll never forget the time you assaulted that duck until you and I ended up deported. Ah, the good times!

What I'll miss the most is the way you worked. It always brought out the slutty nun in me. You've changed my life; you've made it bling-bling. Leaving you makes me feel quite delirious but it's something Oprah would be proud of and I must commit to it.

Farewell, dear friend,
Jocelyn el Palito de Pan*


PS. After saying goodbye to her talent, Jocelyn started a career as a cleaning-lady lady.
She just got fired.

Say Goodbye To...

So, the year is ending and with it all our impossible resolutions we made in moments like this, 365 days or so ago... did you make any weird promises to yourself? I feel I've grown enough to be OK with not making any. Resolutions are for girls.

Instead, I think we should change the whole thing into the "Say Goodbye To" movement: goodbye 2007 hair-dressers, goodbye 2007 Mexican heat, goodbye 2007 car... but really mean it.
At least this way the only thing we'll have to carry for the next year will be our (please insert religion) guilt.

Here's a little help for all of those who struggle with things like feelings!
Just fill in the blanks, give it to your new object of abandonment and have a fresh 2008.
(I'll even post mine in a little bit too).



Dear _______ (noun),
It seems like only yesterday we _______ (verb ending in -ed), but soon we'll put away our _______ (perverted adjective) business. We'll go on with our lives once we have parted and returned mutual presents, but how can we say farewell to our _______ (plural noun)?.

Wow! I can't believe it's finally time to let go. I'll miss the fun times we had together _______ (verb ending in -ing) and _______ (obscure verb ending in -ing). I'll never forget the time you _______ (verb ending in -ed) that _______ (noun) until you and I ended up _______ (verb ending in -ed). Ah, the good times!

What I'll miss the most is the way you _______ (verb ending in -ed). It always brought out the _______ (adjective) _______ (noun) in me. You've changed my life; you've made it _______ (adjective). Leaving you makes me feel _______ (adverb) _______ (adjective) but it's something Oprah would be proud of and I must commit to it.

Farewell, dear friend,
_______ (your name)


Feeling better? Good, now go plan your New Years Eve party before all the hard liquor disappears!

32ºF

So just when I thought snow would give me a new reason to complain in this great land of opportunities, I was once again proved wrong.
Yesterday we hit the 0ºC for the first time after a few stormy days and I found myself walking downtown and thinking "Is it hot in here?" I'm such a Chicagoan now.
The good thing is that when I go home, I will definitely have a reason to complain about the Monterrey 10ºC/50ºF winter hehe

Hair Matters

Good:
Today I cut my own hair.

Better:
Today I cut my own hair and saved $70 from the evil Chicago hair-people.

Best:
Today I cut my own hair, saved $70 from the evil Chicago hair-people and managed to stay here since Jason liked it. Phew.

Starbucks Mejicanos Unidos

Today I ran into Guillermo, a friend from college. In Chicago.
So I was hanging out at a (wait, don't judge just yet) Starbucks on Michigan Avenue... I was there only for the free internet, big windows and Christmas environment... but anyway, I was there minding my very own French business when I looked up and there he was, holding a million bags from Crate & Barrel, The Apple Store and Louis Vuitton. He made a weird face, which I bet was the same one I was making and came over to say hi... followed by his girlfriend from college, Sonia, whom I also knew.
Now, we weren't über best friends back in the good old days; it was more of a hi-on-the-hallways-bye-at-the-end-of-class kind of friendship but still, we are in Chicago, people. We are thousands of miles and many Fahrenheit degrees far away from each other... what are the odds?!
Now I've officially ran into three people from Mexico while in here. I wonder why when I was home (a considerably smaller city than this one) I never ran into my dad when I skipped school and used to go for tacos at 11am just a few blocks from his work. Oh, the absurdity.
Also, they said I looked american...

Wait, what?

Forget Me Not*

Sorry, I've been away due to extreme snowness, coldness and funness. I'm back though, so forget me not.

This is what's new:
The Thanksgiving memoirs
The free fashion party at the Crimson Lounge with Diana
The first snow storm
The Corvax Christmas party (where lucky Jason won and iPod)
The "How to survive a horror movie" book
GO TO FLICKR TO GOSSIP ABOUT IT!!









About me, well, you'd be happy to know that I'm back to kickboxing (with a little help of Billy Blanks and Comcast, but it counts).

I also gave up cooking for a bit after I burned a potato in the microwave the other day and the loft smelled weird for a week... and after burning some cookies I made for Channukah Night 1. Jason was kind enough to eat them all and say they were good. Awww.

In the creative area, Jason and I finally finished our new Design Agency brand! Name, texts and concept done. Now we're waiting for its sister, Burrobala, to brand it and we're on. New stuff about this coming soon.

This week has been snowing for real. I love snow. It's so cold and not wet and not heavy and so fluffy, it's like a cloud. This weekend Jason and I went holiday/winter shopping and I bought myself a hat. For my head. I know! I also bought boots. Weirdddddd.

And finally, for the last two weeks I've almost eaten a whole box of the famous Yehuda Matzos by myself hahahah I'm proud.
Oh, and Happy Channukah! Now go lit a menorah and spread some love :)

Last thought: Man, am I in the mood for tacos "El Güero" from Centrito Valle.

it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing
it'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowingit'ssnowing :)

The Signature Room At The 95th

Prettiness at the John Hancock Tower.

Hotel W Is My Boyfriend™

the blackberry party at the w hotel.
so yesterday morning i tripped on the street and i got all bruised up, but at night i got free drinks and fancy food on floor 31 at the w, angela and i partied with her richie friends, we had free rides on michigan avenue, i almost won a blackberry, i stole a green apple, we convinced a bouncer at a bar that i was a model so he'd let us in without paying (and it worked, thank you very much), then jack daniels and i made up and finally i took the L home where a creepy kid offered me pot. this morning i had such a hangover that i would've taken the tripping on the street again. ahhh party times.

Hace ya semanas

Disculpen la ausencia, ahora si que he estado ocupada. Entre escribir textos, traducir entrevistas, tomar fotos, idear una casa y aprender francés se me han ido los dias. Tengo tantas ganas de hacer algo fuera de lo normal, que estoy tentada a escribir con Webdings!! What the fuck?! jeje

En otras noticias, esta semana empezó el horario de invierno (o el que sea) y para las 4:30pm ya está oscuro... y ayer estuvimos a -1ºC. Fuck me winter.

Y en las noticias estúpidas: antier casi pongo a hervir elotes echados a perder, ayer casi meto un vaso de aluminio al microondas, y hoy acabo de derretir una espátula en la estufa.... y ya me voy que creo que el horno ya está caliente :)

Sleepy The Dog & Harry Potter Rd

Oh BORK!

The Zombie Question

Last night after JS and I watched a zombie movie I asked him if he would shoot me if I turned into a zombie and became an immediate threat to him. He, of course, said YES (although he did refer to the whole incident as 'sadly')... I said I'd never ever shoot him even if he was ready to start chewing on my gorgeous neck. Ok, I did say 'I might punch you' (and kept to myself '...in your creepy zombie nuts' hahah) but as I woke up today still disoriented from eating too much pizza and pop-tarts last night, I stand by my answer: If in the near future we wake up one day to a zombie world and I find out that the thing making blueberry-and-blood waffles in the kitchen is not J. Bork Schwartz, I would grab that almost empty Mrs. Butterworth's bottle we have in the fridge and pour it all over my arm. Zombie times!!

I Like To Fly It, Friend*

This week I went to Room & Board and spent almost an hour in the kid's section; surprising fact considering I hate kids! Even more surprising is the fact that I now dream of the kultest table/chairs set ever made for people under 1.50mts.
Also, 'Le Café Froid' from french school.
And last one: yesterday was my dad's bday so I came up with the great idea of making him a cake to have a virtual bday celebration... didn't work, but the cake turned out to be pretty :)

Sin Nudos En El Pelo™

cortes de pelo domingueros buenos, bonitos y (lo mejor) gratis... cortesía de js. además flores por mi mes 6 en us&a y fotos en wheeling, the city of feeling.
todo en flickr.

The Beastie Boners DVD™

Esta semana pasamos 40 horas viendo nueva tv, fuimos al concierto de Beastie Boys, se me perdió un Sergio Bustamante, compramos comida de Hello Kitty, ya empieza a anochecer a las 7pm, horneé 4 pasteles sin resultados mortales y enviamos el paquete a USCIS por finnnn.
En otras noticias, hoy son 6 meses de estar aquí como Bush manda; mañana es el día 1 de la nueva temporada ilegal del Palito de Pan wooo :)

Yo necesitaba una desnudista porque tengo boobies impresionantes*

Una aventura internética cortesía de Miss Leela.
Escoges un número de cada cosa y te armas tu frase kimérica, va.

Elige el mes en el que naciste
Ene- Yo odie a
Feb- Yo fume con
Mar- Yo necesitaba
Abr- Yo le dispare a
May- Yo corri desnudo(a) con
Jun- Yo aplaste a
Jul- Yo golpee a
Ago- Yo cachetee a
Sep- Yo corri sin camisa con
Oct- Yo abrace a
Nov- Yo dormi con
Dic- Yo acuchille a


Elige el día en que naciste
01 una desnudista
02 un perro
03 un cepillo de dientes
04 tu mama
05 Barney el dinosaurio
06 un gnomo
07 Santa Claus
08 una cantante noventera
09 una estrella porno
10 la persona de tus sueños
11 un conde
12 Paris Hilton
13 un burro
14 un caballo
15 un producto enlatado
16 un desnudista
17 una tipa de trasero ardiente
18 un hombre troyano
19 una naranja
20 un drogadicto
21 un jarron de galletas
22 el hombre kool-aid
23 una bolsa de hierba
24 un huevo de pascua
25 una jarra de miel
26 un motociclista
27 un plato de cereal
28 una papa a la francesa
29 un vendedor de droga
30 una taza de leche
31 tu abuela


Elige el color de la camisa/blusa que traes hoy
Blanca: Porque asi soy yo
Negra: Porque soy muy sexy
Rosa: Porque mis amigos me dijeron
Roja: Porque tengo boobies impresionantes
Azul: Porque soy un chulo y tienes celos
Bolitas: Porque odio mi vida
Morada: Porque soy gay
Gris: Porque amo la mariguana
Verde: Porque soy bueno(a) en la cama
Naranja: Porque fume crack
Turquesa: Porque tenia un fideo en la nariz
Café: Porque tenia que hacerlo
Sin camisa: Porque tengo abdominales fabulosos
Otra: Porque soy feo(a)

Sunday

Marry Me Canon*

Después de terminar el affair con mi Cybershot, Canon y yo hemos comenzado a salir. Aquí, Lincoln In The Park y mi primer The Jason Series™

Attack Of The Body Snatchers!!

Last Monday I ran for 62 straight minutes, 5 miles. And the reason I stopped was because people kept coming in asking why was I running with the lights off.
Now today I ran for 45 straight minutes and I only stopped because I got bored and decided to come upstairs to finish watching Heroes' 1st Season on DVD.
I think I'm possessed.

The Special New Year*

// Bandera, Bandera de México

Debido a la nostalgia que me aprisiona este mes de la patria en este país de la im-patria les dejo...


Las mejores 10 razones que hacen de nuestra patria la nación independiente, humana y generosa a la que entregamos nuestra existencia (firmes... ya!!):
1. Frida y Diego, Gael y Diego y Guadalupe y Juan Diego.
2. Escándalo internacional No. 785: Apagar la Llama del Soldado Desconocido en París.
3. Los nombres reales: Dolores Fuertes, Masiosare Pérez y Policarpo Montelongo.
4. María la del Barrio, María Mercedes y Marimar.
5. Escándalo internacional No. 1045: Jugar con el freno de emergencia del tren Bala en Japón.
6. Alejandro Fernández, Vicente Fernández y José Ramón Fernández.
7. El bronceado perfecto de Roberto Palazuelos desde el '85.
8. Luis Miguel, San Miguel de Allende y Tamarindo San Miguelito.
9. Escándalo internacional No. 2813: Hacerse pasar por diplomático para recibir la bendición del Papa.
10. El tequila, el limón y la sal... Juntos, por supuesto.

Este mes de Septiembre, halaga, conmemora y corteja a tu país con ese alarmante encanto natural del que somos poseedores todos los mexicanos. Canta al pie de su ventana, para que sepa que la quieres.

Cucurrucucu, El Palito De Pan™

I loves the US&A

Giant-Cupcake
Labor-Day
Summer-House
:)

Dr. Bob™

mi hermanoide vino de visita!
días de tornados en el zoológico, viajes en ferris wheel, pelea de cocinas en ikea, guardias bondadosos en o'hare, compras en puma, abogados del diablo fronterizo y consultas íntimas con el doctor bob en navy pier :)

en otras noticias, jason está pintando el depa de nuevo en este momento. help.











bella y discretamente documentado por flickr*